Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.