my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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