So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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