So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
