I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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