She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize