i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
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When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
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its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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