My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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