we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
