fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
