He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
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I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
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the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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