Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You may now shotgun with the bride
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
