Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
