So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
