So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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