Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
