We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
