I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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