Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
