there was a trapeze. enough said
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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