They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
