PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
