OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
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Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
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My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
And then he peed in my hair
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