I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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