Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
