I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
