Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He better not be in your backpack
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
