i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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