Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
NoShamevember. You game?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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