he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
