what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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