butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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