You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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