So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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