Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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