i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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