Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
