just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
