She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
