i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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