you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
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Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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