Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
