Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
