you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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