We won't sleep together?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
