Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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