no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
