i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
pray to the hookup gods
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
