That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
