Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
