It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize