those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize