will power is for people who don't want to get laid
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
