Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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