**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
