this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
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Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I need a beard to bite.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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