Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
