No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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