just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize