i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
