Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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