when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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