We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
