Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
not ubering you a puppy
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
