Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
