Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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